Song of the Day:
"Landing in London" - 3 Doors Down
Yes, I know I shouldn't stay like this. I know that locking myself in and ignoring the world, pretending that there's nothing but my own apartment and myself in the entire universe, is anything but healthy, but right now I just don't have the energy to do anything else. I honestly fear that if I do step outside, and partake in whatever the world throws at me, I'll just end up wishing myself dead. And that, I don't need.
I honestly didn't think this would break me as much as it did. I find myself to be somewhat surprised, truth be told. I do see myself as a semi-decent strong person, and a part of me always expected that she'd find a reason to leave me, and yet I am as down as I can possibly get. I can't remember ever having felt this depressed before. And that's just weird.
Of course, I can think of a couple of explanations for why this is killing me the way that it is. Randomly, pink cats. Yes, I know that's beyond logical and what any of my readers might understand - it's an inside thing - but trust me; it's what keeps me breathing. And right now I feel like I'm slowly being choked to death.
I know it won't kill me, but right now it just feels that way. And a small part of me wish that it would, so I could escape this. I really hate feeling this frozen.
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