Falling apart again

And this is how long I managed to get by before my head caught up to me and I fell down into the well of self-pity. I tried to make the day pass by shopping for groceries and working on some sketches I had lying around, but now I've lost my inspiration and I don't feel like doing anything at all. Why is it so damned hard to get through this?

I just wish I could've heard something from her. The last thing she said to me before she left was that she needed to think, and that she'd call me. That's about a week ago, and still nothing. I kind of feel like I've been forgotten. Am I really that worthless? Was that all it took for her to forget about me? If so, then perhaps I really am no use to this world after all, if I can't even make the woman I love remember me long enough to contact me instead of leaving me for dead.

I really want to pick up the phone and call her, but I'm so sick of being the one always making an effort. Why should it be up to me to contact her, when she was the one who told me she needed time? Why am I the only one fighting? Aren't I worth a fight? Do I really mean that little to her..?

I just... I just wish she'd care. We used to be friends at one point, and I'd like to get that back. If only she'd care about me, as a friend at least...

I guess I'm just not worth it..

*