Song of the Day:
"You Won't be Mine" - Matchbox Twenty
I had a brief visit at work today, just to let them know that I'll be staying home for the rest of the week. Yes, I am still very depressed and feel like staying in, but no that is not the reason for why I'm not attending work this week. I've managed to become sick, on top of everything. -.-; Aren't I the lucky one? Talk about a nice way to start the week.
So today I've stayed at home, just relaxing under a blanket with a game controller in my hands. And my head keeps on spinning with thought. I think I am starting to accept things. Slowly. I am gaining some clarity from just sitting here and going through things in my head. With the distance between us like this, I manage to see a lot of things I didn't see before. They aren't things I want to see, but I suppose it is for the better that I see them.
I am gathering quite a bit of content within my head, and it's starting to pile up. So much information, so many secrets. And no one to share it all with... I can see that this is causing me to close up my heart again, like I've done before, and it is making me cold and distant. I am keeping more and more things to myself, and I am getting more careful about letting people close to me. I've been hurt very badly, and I am not planning on letting that happen again.
My inner thoughts and feelings will stay with me, shared with no one. And I'll become lonely again. I know how this works now, I've gone through it before, so there are no surprises. It's just... Safe.
*
No comments:
Post a Comment