Time to take off

I'm staying up late again. And drinking.

It seems like all I want these days is to eat and drink. I stuff my face all the time, with food and candy or whatever else I get my hands on, and I'm craving alcohol from the moment I get out of bed. Like seriously craving it. I walk on my toes all day, wanting to grab a beer or something, and when I finally can I'm way too happy about it.

That can't be good.

And I think my parents are suspecting I'm having issues, cause my mother has started commenting on my drinking and almost refusing me to do so. Right now, I have to ask her if I can go grab a beer, and I'm 25 years old. And I don't even dare ask her, cause I'm afraid she'll think I'm having alcohol problems!

I so need to get out of here, and go back to my own apartment. In there I can drink without feeling bad, at least. I had to wait until everyone else had gone to bed before I could grab a glass of wine tonight. And I just feel horrible because of it..
I feel like I have to go behind my parents' back just to have ONE glass of wine. Or just ONE beer. Which is utterly ridicules! It shouldn't have to be this way!

So, I'm thinking that later this week, I'm packing my stuff and going back home again. Besides, I could use the time to myself, cause you really don't get much privacy when you're staying with your parents. Not that I mind, really, cause I love my family, but I prefer having total control of everything and feel like I can do whatever I want whenever I want to. And I can't do that as long as I'm visiting someone else.

I'm not a people-person. I'm just not.
I don't like having people around me!

Well, that depends on the people, though.. There are certain people I like having around me, even for longer periods, that don't drive me insane. But those are rarities..

And right now, I don't really have anyone at all.

I couldn't be more alone.

I'm just glad I have a glass of wine right now, and I'm gonna buy at least a 6 pack of beers before I go home. I'll be fine then.

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