Song of the Day:
Linkin Park - "Easier to Run"
I've been submitted to a psychiatric clinic for a while, and I just got back home again a couple of days ago. It's been extremely strange, and somewhat uncomfortable, and I swear to myself that I will never let anyone submit me to something like that ever again. Instead of getting some time away, I just ended up feeling I was locked up in a cage. Not quite the experience I was aiming for...
But yeah, this is how bad things have gotten lately. They had to get me submitted to a psychiatric clinic for a little while, cause I was just about ready to break apart.
I'm still breaking apart, but I'll admit that I am feeling slightly better about things. I have sorted out a lot of the mess I had in my head, and neatly organized it in labeled boxes, so now I know what problems I have and what I need to solve. I suppose I needed to figure out those things..
I'm still very depressed. I still feel like I have no will to keep on living, and no strength to keep going. But I have gained a determination, and somehow I am going to get through this shit. If only just to beat the rest of the world to death before I leave it.
~
I have too many things on my mind now, too many issues that needs sorting out. I am so extremely tired, and so sick of absolutely everything. I am carrying a pain inside me that no one will ever see or understand, and I know that this is something I have to live with for the rest of my life.
I wish I could take a very long vacation.
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Feb 4, 2010
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